A Dry Cry

"Someone asked her what was wrong, she smiled and said Nothing, as she turned and walked away, a tear ran down her cheek as she whispered to herself...Everything!! "

This is a story of every other woman you would meet on the go. Some are better at hiding their feelings behind a fake smile while the others fail at it and end up crying. While she is doing things making someone else feel happy,somewhere she is burying her own happiness. There is always some or the other thing which keeps on taking her mind in a whirl and bothers her. All she needs at times is someone who would just listen to her without any judgement and for the same there exists best friends. People say when you have a partner to share things then you don't need anyone else. But the truth is that most of the problems are such that cannot be understood by them.

I always notice the women around me. While going in the train each morning, there are women who are smiling at each other, some who have kept places for there friend who would get in at the next station, and the journey begins. But behind every smile, there's a hidden sorrow. A pain that is well hidden by some and others make it quite visible. Some discuss the fights they had with their mother in law the last night and some are full of the marks they had on their body given by their husbands. Every eye tells a different story of sadness and despair.

In a second class ladies compartment of a train, you would find some of the amazing personalities that give you courage at times when you are depressed. Once i saw a lady crying and wiping off her tears as she listened to songs on her cellphone. Then the other day a middle aged lady discussing her day over the phone with someone and telling how its been difficult to raise her children and making them stand independent. In the morning there are many mothers accompanying their children to drop them to schools carrying their heavy bags on shoulders and protecting the kids from crowd.

In a ladies special, there is a different environment altogether. Ladies getting in the train in groups laughing and giggling. Sharing mature jokes and laughing off things. Some discuss their daily chores and different styles of cooking a vegetable. There are ladies who seem to be so frustrated with their lives that they tend to throw tantrums at anyone who would even happen to dash them. there are ladies who have started their businesses through these ladies special trains. You would notice ladies with catalogs selling dress materials. You just have to order from the catalog and the dress would be delivered to you the next day in the same compartment of the same train. You would also see ladies with catalogs of Tupperware,Amway,Oriflame and so on. Some female hawkers who sell Kurtis,earrings,bangles and similar stuff. Ladies on board have developed such a rapport with these daily sellers that they have a competitive advantage in bargaining as compared to the new ladies who travel less often in these trains.

There is one particular lady i notice on the matunga station. She gets in the dadar train from matunga and sells bhel puri to the ladies and gets down again at matunga station and waits for the next dadar train to arrive. She prepares everything needed at the station itself while waiting for the train. When asked whether she does this the whole day, she said "I just come in the evening by 4:30 and do this work to earn some extra income to raise my children. I work till 9 in the late evening or sometimes even 10. My husband's income is just not sufficient to fulfill today's needs."  and then she resumed cutting onions to serve her customers in a while. And i entered a world of my own thoughts. In our world where we would just burst into tears when something is not going right and in front of me a very simple lady who is working without a single trait of sadness on her face.

Such are the women of India. They would just go on and on without a sigh or complaint about her situation. Maybe we are raised this way or gradually we develop these skills to keep walking and finding our own ways in the darkness of this world. the modern day women who are taught to be independent and live fearlessly in this modern world, are also undergoing the same kind of trauma in some phase of their daily lives. Though the situation has changed a bit from the traditional society but then too emotionally women would be women. That is the reason i prefer travelling in a second class compartment of a local train as i get an opportunity to get exposed to so many different beings who are just like me but yet so different.